Confession: I Don't Take Notes

I don't take notes in my doctor's appointments (it drives my family nuts), but you can ask me what my doctor said 3 months ago and I can tell you. It may or not be my coping strategy :-)

I don't balance my checkbook.

If it wasn't for the iPhone, I probably wouldn't keep a calendar.

Sometimes, I take meetings in staff development to stave myself from boredom (but throw them away when I leave).

I hate paper and I know that there is always somewhere I can find the information again.

I like putting it all in my mind and keeping it there.

It suits me well. It keeps me sane. I do envy those with great to do lists, detailed calendars, and cute journals (but it's just not my style :-).

I am glad I am blogging, because it is a chronicle of my story. I can look back and see what the details were as I remembered them at the time :-) and I don't feel overwhelmed with paper!!!

Round 4: A Long Process

What better way to say Goodbye to 2011 then with chemo, right? I had my fourth chemo treatment on December 30th. We had a busy, busy week between Christmas and New Years so it was madness right up to it. Even the Oncology Department was crazy, their normal 5 day week was shortened so they were 30 minutes late in getting me back. My first nurse had trouble finding a vein that wanted to cooperate. She poked and prodded and then left to get another needle. Sarah and I considered having her start my IV, but thought that might be hard to explain when the nurse returned. As luck would have it, she had to take her lunch and nurse #2 had no trouble finding a cooperative vein. Everything else went off without a hitch, Brian, Sarah and I played on Sarah's new iPad. Adam stopped by for a visit and the time went by very quickly. My boys were getting spoiled rotten by Aunt Debbie, Uncle Steve and their cousins so Brian and I were even able to go to lunch on our way home.

For the three days surrounding chemo, I have a regiment of 3 different drugs that help lessen the effects of the chemo drugs (specifically the Taxotere). I am not the best patient in regards to medicine and even hate taking Tylenol and Ibuprofen so these days I tend to feel queasy. The best I can equate the feeling to is those first months being pregnant, the feeling of not knowing if you should eat or not eat to make you feel better. As soon as I am off the medication, this feeling subsides which is nice.

This round has been interesting. I have been tired, sleepy tired and feeling a little tired about the process. When I started chemo, I thought to myself.....6 rounds, I can do anything 6 times. I was focused on the task at hand and at that point couldn't really look at what the next step was going to be. I am almost done (Feb. 10th will be 6 of 6) but now I am feeling like I will just be back to the unknown. The stage of my cancer, the lymph nodes associated with it, and my age all led to our decision to start chemo prior to any surgery. We didn't want to give the cancer any time to spread while I healed from surgery. The hope is that the cancer will be responsive to this aggressive chemo and when we went to look for it again it will be gone. So, I wait. Two more rounds and then more scans to see how it has responded. I expected that there would be a point in the process where it just felt LONG and it does!!!