Who Loves You?

On Sunday, February 12th my Dad passed away. To say that our family has been faced with a lot in the past year would be an understatement. Thank you to everyone who gathered around to support our family. We celebrated his life on Saturday and it was amazing to see what an impact he had on everyone around him. Here is what I shared with those that were there:

My Dad wasn’t going to conform, lived life in the moment and I know he did up until his very last. He was always telling us “Dare to be different”.

Dad was so artistic and found beauty and inspiration in everything. A hunk of concrete became a work of art. An old wine barrell became a depiction of my life. A roll of wire could be anything-cars, flowers, trees, hearts.

He was thoughtful. If you were going through a rough patch you’d expect a hand drawn depiction of your situation in colored pencils to be in your mailbox soon.

He would do anything for others, and I am sure has been a part of patios for half of the people here. You couldn’t go by a bridge, a parking lot, the new mall or a neighborhood without Dad announcing “Guess Who Poured That”

He was always interested in what was going on in your life and you might remember him saying “Tell Me A Story” and this wasn’t limited to those he knew. This true interest in people’s lives had him making connections all over Sacramento and the bay area.

He grew up in a family of 11 so “Keep the Peace” became a favorite way to diffuse potential situations and something to leave your friends with in parting.

With the incessant questioning of three kids each 18 months apart that all like to talk, he was often “off to find a crutch for a lame duck” and upon taking 30-16 years olds camping he was ”blind in one eye and couldn’t see out of the other”.

When he dropped us off at school, any sporting event, and all through my treatments: Fight Hard You’ll Win it’s actually been my personal motto the last 6 months and can be seen on many pink bands out there.

And most recently he was an incredible Grandpa. Jack and Sam loved their Papa John and the fact that when he had no inhibitions. Want to build a fort, let’s go! Want to play with the hose in December, let’s do it! Want to move the sand across the yard with the cement mixer, I’m in! Doritos and sunflower seeds for lunch, perfect!

One thing is FOR SURE you knew my Dad loved you. He never left a meeting or phone call without saying it and just when he wanted to check to be sure, he’d call out……WHO LOVES YOU!!!!

A Positive Outlook and a Poison Warning

I had my last pre-chemo meeting with my oncologist yesterday and we all left (Mom, Brian and I) feeling optimistic. I appreciate how my doctor jokes with us and really focuses on moving forward with a positive outlook. We don't talk worst case scenario ever. I will sit through my last full chemo treatment this morning!! I can't believe it has been over 18 weeks. I knew it would go quick, but that is an understatement. Dr. Sadar scheduled my next steps with an MRI and an ultrasound in two weeks. This will give round 6 time to show any effects. Once these tests can be read, the surgeon will evaluate for the next step. Surgery, chemo and radiation are the standard of care in treating my type cancer so since we chose to do chemo first, surgery will be the next step.

Dr. Sadar told a story of a young woman he treated over the last 6 months and after her 6 treatments they went in to find it was ALL gone. That is the hope and has been the prayer of many, many people over the last months (family, friends, coworkers, and even students). When talking about the next steps this is what the doctor believes as well. We can only wait and see :-) One more treatment and as the nurse hangs the bags, Sarah will give it her chemo blessing...."Now do your job!"

He closed the appointment with some advice for Brian:

Dr. Sadar: "Brian if you are ever trying to get rid of Danielle, poison would not be the choice. She takes poison really well :-)"

Round 5: A Blur

Sorry for the lack of update, but it's been a whirlwind round 5. I had my fifth round of chemo on a rainy Friday afternoon. I promised myself I wouldn't make those afternoon appointments and I was reminded why. It took forever to get called back because the nurses were returning from lunch break. There are two chemo chair set ups, one is in a semi-private area with halfwalls and enough room for visitors and another almost in the walkway. You guessed it......... we got the walkway seat! My veins were cooperative and my nurse was able to get my IV in fairly quickly (as my treatment has continued my veins have gotten less and less cooperative). It did feel a little odd though and she must have noticed because she left it uncovered (not wrapped in tape like usual).

My first drug (and the strongest) went in fine. During administration of the second drug, I noticed the IV site getting red, followed quickly by three bubbles. I didn't see my nurse, but yelled the name of the one nurse I knew (a fellow BV High School grad) who immediately came over and crimped the line. The IV had infiltrated, meaning that the medicine was no longer going into my vein. I was lucky because she had left it uncovered I caught it early. They said that depending on the drug it can actually burn your skin and they have seen cases that require immediate skin graphs. I was only left with a mighty fine bruise.......that still remains three weeks later.

The rest of the treatment went fine and we closed down the treatment center since we were then running a half hour behind. There was only one nurse and the nurse manager left :-) I was a little worried that the adverse reaction might give me a little trouble in my recovery. The side effects seemed to be the same, queasy stomach the first few days and exhaustion. I have noticed that the bottoms of my feet are tingly, a cumulative effect that we were warned about. Other than that, the three weeks have flown by!