Round Two: Go Grease Lightning!

Round Two is behind us. My chemo crew reconvened for round two of treatment on Friday November 14th. Sarah and I were decked out in our Pink Ladies gear to take Kaiser by storm :-) A little background, in our early college (maybe high school days) Sarah and I convinced Brian to see Grease Lightning at the Crest Theater downtown.We sang the songs (out loud), danced the dances and thoroughly embarrassed my then boyfriend. You could say he was horrified, but he had to know what he was getting himself into with Sarah and I.

Round two went well, we chatted and Adam came to visit and the 3 hours flew by. I was sent home with shots that I will start tonight to help boost my white blood cell count this next week. The hope is that I won't have a repeat hospital stay this time around and with Thanksgiving around the corner this will be a blessing. I'm resting today and the boys are on an adventure with my mom and Keith, lucky guys!

I was especially well rested because Thursday night I came home to a major surprise. My mom and aunt had planned nights out with each of the boys and sent Brian and I on a pre-chemo night away. They had booked a room at the Delta King (our favorite place to sneak away). We had dinner at Bibas and a restful night. We enjoyed breakfast with a view and were well rested for Chemo Day 2. What an amazing surprise and all the details were taken care of. Again, lucky, loved, and so supported (maybe I need to change the blog name).

The view from our room, WOW!!

Breakfast.........not you're frozen pancakes

One well rested couple!

Matching Hairstyles

Like I said in a previous post, Day 14 brought the dreaded hair loss. Luckily, I am a Miller and we are blessed with lots of hair. Friday, Saturday and Sunday I lost hair every time I touched it but it held out for family pictures and my trip to the bay area to see students on Monday. On Tuesday, I was home grading and this is what I ended up with.

Yes, gross! Brian came home and we decided to do it that night. It would lessen the blow of waking up to piles of hair each day. I was very nervous. I felt like up until this point, I could move through life without the label of "cancer patient". Once the hair was gone, I now would be the "cancer patient". Even with hats, scarfs and bandanas the point remains.......there is no more hair!

So, how to you get the much dreaded hair cut......

Invite over your mom and friends!

Create a psuedo hair cutting salon in your kitchen!

Involve your 3 year old!

Hire your husband who has shaved his head for the last 15+ years!

and the result........I have a nice round head. Everyone says it is beautiful. I also have a tan line from the part I have sported for the last 10 years (the first one my doc has ever seen).

I spent the next few days trying on hats, buying scarfs and figuring out my comfort level on being bald! It's all part of the journey and now Brian and I have matching hairstyles!

Amazed

Many of you know that I have decided to work through my chemotherapy treatment. I am blessed to be able to complete most of my work from home, and I can do lots of work at night or on the weekends. I knew that I was going to lose my hair so telling my students before that was necessary! Currently, I have a group of 9th and 10th grade students who all live in the bay area. I am very close to each student and their parents so I knew that it wouldn't be super easy.

The first line, "I was diagnosed with cancer" is still hard to get out so my first thought was to send an email and then offer a question and answer session, but it just didn't feel write for families and students I was so close to to open an email to this news. I had a social meeting at Sky High planned for this final week before break. While the students were jumping, I gathered the parents. I told them the story, and they were more than supportive. Like everyone, they wanted to know what they could do to support me.......meals, grading, rides, etc. They were astonished as everyone is when they hear the news.

Next it was on to the students........half of the students have been with me for the last two years. We are close. We meet weekly, SKYPE and talk online. We have a very unique relationships with our students at Visions. We are involved in their lives and know them so it was like telling my kids :-) I explained the situation and my plan for getting better. They were astonished. I handed each one a Team Dani bracelet and told my teenage boys, "I know it's pink you don't have to wear it :-)". They immediately put them on and slowly one by one gave me a hug (yes a sweaty post jumping hug).

I got incredible emails of support and phone calls too! Today I signed on to our EDGE social network (very similar to facebook, but private to our group) and this is what I found.

When I first met you,
there was a happy presence,
you had a sunny essence.

You lit up the room,
Brought cheer and smiles,
kicked out the gloom,
made us feel like we had gone miles.

I was so happy when I found out I was to be in your team,
I knew you were nice
I saw a glimmer a gleam.

If I had to choose a way to describe you,
A drop of sun would come to mind,
I’ve only known you for a handful of moments,
But I do know you are the best at being kind.

I really think this ordeal is undeserved and uncanny,
So here I will stand,
rooting for team Dani

--Mateo (9th grade boy)

Team Dani!!! We love you Danielle! Danielle stands for: Delightful, Ambitious, Noble, Insightful, Excellent, Loving, Laughing, Extra-special-teacher! <3

--Sophia (9th grade girl)

I know I say it a lot, but lucky, loved and soooooooo supported!!!!

Surprise!!!!

It was a long weekend for Brian and I with Veterans Day off on Friday. I was feeling good so I kept bugging him about "doing something fun" this weekend. I mean 3 days with no plans, we had to put something on the books. I mentioned the Lawrence Hall of Science in Berkeley, a hike, the Railroad Museum....... and I just couldn't get him to commit. Annoyed, I decided to take it into my own hands and get a babysitter for Saturday night. He quickly told me he had plans for the night, and I better have my dancing shoes on :-)

I woke up very tired on Saturday......might have been my 1 year old breaking his eye teeth and crying for an hour in the middle of the night and then deciding 5 am was a great time for a party! Brian took the boys and I slept the WHOLE day. My Dad and Sandy came over around 3 and I got ready for the night (of course avoiding my hair). Brian got home at 3:30 and was stalling on our departure.........I was of course frustrated. I was ready, he was ready, the bike was ready, what are we waiting for? He said he had reservations. Hmmmm! Not his style, but ok. I finally told him, let's go and he said we needed to stop for a drink on the way there. We would be too early for our reservations and it was a little chilly to just ride for longer.

We stopped for a drink, little fishy, but I still didn't think much of it. My only thought was that Krissie had invited me for a girls dinner, but the time was throwing me off. When we typically go out, it isn't until 7 or 7:30 so we can help get kids down and I couldn't imagine Brian just dropping me off there. We rode the motorcycle downtown and headed towards River Road. The motorcycle was his saving grace because there wasn't time for my incessant questioning about the night. He did lean back and say we were headed to sushi on the river, but suddenly we pulled into Chevy's on the River and when I opened the door I was greeted with.........

THIS!!!

My friends had pulled off a major surprise! There were 25+ women in my life gathered to celebrate this journey I am on and show their support. They were decked out in crazy hats and pink feather boas. There were friends from high school I hadn't seen in years, friends from mom's groups, friends from growing up. They offered encouragement and reiterated their support! We drank margaritas and had appetizers. We created a scene (which we like to do!).

I felt loved.

I felt supported.

I felt lucky.

I know that this is only a small portion of the people that are behind me and I thank all of you. This is how I am getting through it. Friends, family and their words of encouragement, cards, amazing meals and calls that keep me focused on getting better.

It will be a long journey, but I am not on it alone.......and this makes it much easier to face.

Hair and Hats

Day 14........it was the day I was dreading. Almost across the board, woman receiving my treatment said that this would be the day to lose your hair. The stories were actually kinda gruesome......hair falling out in chunks, traumatic. I wasn't looking forward to it.

Day 14 came and it started like clockwork. Not in chunks, not traumatic, but hair everywhere and don't plan on touching it because you were sure to get more than you bargained for. So, I didn't touch it........I had less than a day to get to our family pictures (which were already rescheduled from my hospital stay last Sunday). It was unnerving to say the least.

I had a date planned with Brian and the hair was holding out. I didn't plan on doing anything to it, and the fact that we were riding the motorcycle was great, helmet hair anyway. My Dad and Sandy came to watch the boys and we headed to Sushi on the River when Brian made an unexpected turn into Chevys.

Here I was met with some of the strongest woman in my life all decked out in hats. Lots of details of this amazing show of support and pictures to come tomorrow, but they all made Day 14 a day to celebrate (and I don't even know if they realized it was a day I was dreading). I am so loved.

The hair is holding on.

Pictures are in 1 1/2 hours :-) and I think I'm in the clear. I'm pulling it back into a clip. I don't think it would make it through a straightening iron and now I have a ton of great hats for when it does decide to fall out all together.

Jack is excited Mom and Dad will be sporting the same hairstyle........I don't know if I'm as excited, but it's all part of getting better.

A Perfect Day

I woke up this morning to a blood draw at 6:00am. By 7:50am, I had my discharge orders from the doc. Quickest Kaiser discharge ever!! My white blood cells were now at 12.7 (we're multiplying baby!) and I was 24 hours fever free. Brian took the birthday boy to donuts, dropped them at preschool and came and picked me up.

I had successful SKYPE meetings with two struggling students and two group SKYPE meetings (all while still in my PJ's). I laughed liked crazy as I realized during a meeting of 10th grade boys (I have 8 of them) what life will be like in a house full of boys. They joked with each other, talked sports, new video games while I keep redirecting their conversations to my more

important agenda of spring schedules and motivation for the Exit Exam. It's amazing the teacher-student relationships we get to create with our kids at my work :-)

Surprised the boys at daycare, and the looks on their faces were priceless. Sam couldn't stop smiling and I was finally able to give a big hug to my now 3 year old. We came home and played baseball and football in the yard until Mimi and Papa came over after work for Jack's birthday dinner. Blessed again with an amazing meal of Guy Fieri Mac and Cheese, salad and even a cake for Jack (thanks Bentley family).

We all sat down and watched the movie I made of Jack's first year. It is incredible to see how much he has grown. Jack sat in his recliner eating popcorn while Sam danced around the room entertaining us.

The boys got baths, guitar serenades, and we read books until they fell asleep. Now cuddling up in front of the fire.......

Seriously, A Perfect Day!!!

One More Glorious Night

Of course, I started planning my break out of here the minute I woke up this morning. I got early news my white blood cell count had gone from 1.7 to 3.7 and the doc from the night before said he needed to see them increase. This + no fever I thought could equal nothing but an early release. I skyped in to our monthly Visions meeting and my mom, Brian and Sarah kept me busy as we worked through 2 shifts of nurses before seeing the Monday doc (they're a little late on rounds around here). I was feeling great and then she told me that my 99.1 degree temp at midnight the night before was considered feverish and they really needed me 24 hours without fever....duh duh duh

One more night in the four star resort.

Brian left to get the boys and faced bedtime alone again, he gets the hero award for the week. Especially because he even managed to send me videos of the Jack singing in the bathtub! Sam couldn't even hear my voice on the phone, too confusing and he started crying. Jack on the other hand wanted to talk to my doctor and told me please mom just a minute. When I said he wasn't here he asked me what he was doing? Actually Jack, I'm not sure. Can't wait to get home for my boys.

On a more positive note,

caught up on some grading......

had a great student nurse named Mimi (Jack's name for my mom). Which was a good sign because we struggled through some of the nurses.

And tomorrow, my little guy turns 3! Incredible, and kinda fitting that I will be in the hospital on this day. Remembered a different emotion though of meeting my first 3 years ago. He gets special donuts with Daddy in the morning and he will get spoiled rotten at preschool, and I will be there when he gets home. Can't wait.....now to sleep.

I Spoke Too Soon

Just when I thought I had round one in the bag, something got me.

Saturday morning I woke up not feeling well. My mom and dad took the boys to the Railroad Museum to let me sleep. I slept all day long and when the boys returned I took my temperature..... 101.2!

Normally not a concern, but during chemo 100.5+ requires an ER trip. So off my mom and I went. They gave me general antibiotics, drew blood and soon discovered that I had NO white blood cells. Well, 0.9 to be exact which they were less than thrilled about. I got a shot to boost my white blood cell count and then was told I had to be admitted.

Day 2 in the hospital included lots of blood draws, general antibiotics, Tylenol, more shots and waiting (oh and a little Niners Football!). When the doc came and asked me what I needed, I said "to go home". He told me that I needed another day to get those white blood cells up.

So here I sit, in a hospital bed. Just wanting to go home. Skyped with my boys tonight and miss them terribly. They hope I will be released tomorrow. I'll keep everyone posted!!!

One Solid Night of Sleep, Please!

I have to say I am very lucky, the effects of this first round of chemo have not been hard to handle.

But man am I tired!!!

Brian and I have been cashing in right after the boys for the last week and I fall asleep fine......

then the game begins.....

up for the bathroom

up because my legs are restless

up for a drink

up because I can't fall back asleep!

When the boys were little, I expected it. Sleepless nights, up at all hours, feed, change, repeat, but this is different. I have three boys in my house sleeping soundly and here I am walking the halls.

Jump Houses, Marshmallow Shooters and Ice Cream, Oh My!

Can't let a little chemo get you down! We had scheduled Jack's birthday party for Sunday, October 30th before we knew that I would be receiving my first treatment on Friday. We thought about canceling it, rescheduling it, or skipping it all together, but our little "Buzz Lightyear" was way to excited. The support troops came together and made salads, cupcakes, and decorations. We ordered pizza and the kids (and adults) had a blast making marshmallow PVC shooters. I think that we will be cleaning up mini-marshmallows forever.

The Singley's Infamous Ice Cream Sundae

Marshmallow Craziness

Super Tyler!!!

Of course, I was thoroughly exhausted, but couldn't have imagined it any other way! My baby is three! I can't believe it! Thanks to everyone for making the party happen, I am one lucky girl!