A Busy Season

Merry Christmas!

December is exhausting anyway you look at it, but this year was especially so. I feel blessed that this continues to be my main side effect of chemotherapy, but it makes the busy-ness of the season hard. Brian and I decided to keep Christmas simple this year with the adults and made it all about the kids-minimal shopping and the beginning of lots of new traditions. I had to work all the way through the 23rd of December so it was nice to focus on family and traditions rather than shopping and presents.

Decorating our Tree (and Sam's obsession with removing the ornaments "balls")

First Annual Dinner and Dovewood Court

Christmas Eve Crab Feed at Mimi and Papa's House

Catching Santa's footprints in flour

Spending Christmas morning with my boys!

Fun with cousins on Christmas Day

(Jack wants to do anything the big boys do!)

It is pretty incredible that we were able to enjoy all that we did. Last October, we didn't know what Christmas would look like. I have a husband holding me up, family right by my side, and friends who keep me taken care of and smiling. I continue to rest when I can, work when I can, and play when I can. I was disappointed in working until the 23rd, but this means that I have the entire week after New Years off. I am looking forward to catching up on some much needed rest, and possibly a few projects :-)

Round Three: Halfway There

Friday marked the third treatment of my six treatment set. I was coming off a strong three weeks so I was ready for it. I had an appointment with my oncologist in the morning and he was amazed at how well I was doing. I told him that I had to make sure to get more of the liquid gold (ie. Neupogen shots) and he agreed that it was definitely a positive :-)

I scheduled my appointment for 3pm this time instead of 12 noon so I could make our weekly EDGE work meeting which made for a really long day. 8:30 oncology, 10:00 Visions, 11:30 Bookfair, 12:30 lunch and a little hat shopping with my mom and then onto the chemo appointment. The treatment center was less busy. It was quiet and was very calm. My mom and I designed some cards and chatted as the three drugs did their jobs!

It was dark when we left (which was strange) so I came home a little sleepier than normal. My mom and Keith stayed for dinner and we watched a little National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. I went to bed fairly early and felt exhausted.

Brian and I attempted some Christmas shopping on Saturday, but I only lasted about 2 hours. I wasn't feeling horrible, but I was super drained. Brian took Jack to the movies on Sunday and Maggie babysat the little Sam Man. It seems like just yesterday, I was babysitting her :-)

The hope is that the next three weeks are as smooth as the last three. They warn that the effects of the drugs are cumulative so we are not sure what may build up. I am amazed as I hear about all of my family, friends, students, colleagues that are sending positive thoughts, have me on prayer lists and check in on my progress. It keeps me strong. It keeps me positive. If being exhausted is the worst of it, I can get through it!

A Thankful Three Weeks

Thankful for a new medication: Due to the hospital stay in Round 1, my oncologist prescribed neupogen shots to encourage my bone marrow to produce more white blood cells. I had to give myself shots for five nights after my chemo treatment. The result-I have been healthy and hospital free.

Thankful for health insurance: The above mentioned shots carried a price tag of $1537.27 of which I was responsible for 0.

Thankful for hats: You don't realize how warm your hair keeps you. I am cold ALL THE TIME with this bald head so I am thankful for my ever growing hat collection. I have yet to brave the bald head in public, but it sure does make getting ready easy.

Thankful for amazing meals: You have all been keeping my family well fed. We have been spoiled with amazing meals. My children may be disappointed to realize that when this is all over dessert doesn't come with every meal :-)

Thankful for a chance to be creative: I often say in another life, I am a stay at home mom who crafts her days away, makes all of her children's clothes, and blogs DIY posts about my projects. We know in actuality I am a worker bee who loves all of my jobs, so I just obsess about that life while pinning items on Pinterest :-) So over Thanksgiving break, I had a chance to put the computer down and get creative. We bought new furniture which created a blank wall.I created a gallery wall with family photos and other items. It was nice to not spend the week grading.Thankful for a chance to be with friends: Parties and Parades. My friends also share the above issue of pinning/planning projects and yet never completing them. We decided to get 7 girls together at my house and craft the night away. We all left with 7 (almost complete) projects. It was a night of good food, fun projects, and wine of course! We also had a chance to enjoy the Elk Grove Santa Parade with great friends. It was a wonderful night and the kids sat on the curb through the whole thing. It may have been because they were frantically eating as many candy canes as they could without us seeing.

Thankful for family traditions: The 15 foot ceilings in our house beg for a HUGE tree so each year we plan a day to cut one down. The last 3 years we have bought a USFS permit for $10 and gone into the forest to cut our tree down (the perfect price). It is an adventure to say the least. This year the four of us traveled the fire roads of Mormon Immigrant Trail to find the perfect tree. It is harder to find the specific type of tree you want in the forest so four hours and two trees later we had the one :-) Once it was cut and we managed to get it into the truck, we started to get a little worried. It looked like it may have been a Clark Griswald Christmas "little full lotta sap", but we got the tree home and it fit perfect. Last night we hung 366 feet of twinkly lights and the tree is ready for decorating when the boys get home tonight.

Thankful for kids at Christmastime: My house is alive with Christmas excitement. My little Jack can't contain himself. He proudly announces that "Christmastime is getting closer" to everyone he sees and couldn't wait for the calender to change to December. He sings Christmas songs in the stores and keeps me smiling. We adopted an Elf which Jack named Blueberry Mashed Potatoes (yes, that is his name) who keeps an eye on the boys in the day and reports to Santa each night. This Elf has proven to be the best parenting technique ever and we wish he could stay all year long. Jack gets up every morning and can't wait to find out where Blueberry Mashed Potatoes is (he changes spots each night).

Can you believe he was fishing in the toilet?

Ready to conquer Round 3 on Friday with the hope that the next three weeks are half as good as these three were :-)

Round Two: Go Grease Lightning!

Round Two is behind us. My chemo crew reconvened for round two of treatment on Friday November 14th. Sarah and I were decked out in our Pink Ladies gear to take Kaiser by storm :-) A little background, in our early college (maybe high school days) Sarah and I convinced Brian to see Grease Lightning at the Crest Theater downtown.We sang the songs (out loud), danced the dances and thoroughly embarrassed my then boyfriend. You could say he was horrified, but he had to know what he was getting himself into with Sarah and I.

Round two went well, we chatted and Adam came to visit and the 3 hours flew by. I was sent home with shots that I will start tonight to help boost my white blood cell count this next week. The hope is that I won't have a repeat hospital stay this time around and with Thanksgiving around the corner this will be a blessing. I'm resting today and the boys are on an adventure with my mom and Keith, lucky guys!

I was especially well rested because Thursday night I came home to a major surprise. My mom and aunt had planned nights out with each of the boys and sent Brian and I on a pre-chemo night away. They had booked a room at the Delta King (our favorite place to sneak away). We had dinner at Bibas and a restful night. We enjoyed breakfast with a view and were well rested for Chemo Day 2. What an amazing surprise and all the details were taken care of. Again, lucky, loved, and so supported (maybe I need to change the blog name).

The view from our room, WOW!!

Breakfast.........not you're frozen pancakes

One well rested couple!

Matching Hairstyles

Like I said in a previous post, Day 14 brought the dreaded hair loss. Luckily, I am a Miller and we are blessed with lots of hair. Friday, Saturday and Sunday I lost hair every time I touched it but it held out for family pictures and my trip to the bay area to see students on Monday. On Tuesday, I was home grading and this is what I ended up with.

Yes, gross! Brian came home and we decided to do it that night. It would lessen the blow of waking up to piles of hair each day. I was very nervous. I felt like up until this point, I could move through life without the label of "cancer patient". Once the hair was gone, I now would be the "cancer patient". Even with hats, scarfs and bandanas the point remains.......there is no more hair!

So, how to you get the much dreaded hair cut......

Invite over your mom and friends!

Create a psuedo hair cutting salon in your kitchen!

Involve your 3 year old!

Hire your husband who has shaved his head for the last 15+ years!

and the result........I have a nice round head. Everyone says it is beautiful. I also have a tan line from the part I have sported for the last 10 years (the first one my doc has ever seen).

I spent the next few days trying on hats, buying scarfs and figuring out my comfort level on being bald! It's all part of the journey and now Brian and I have matching hairstyles!

Amazed

Many of you know that I have decided to work through my chemotherapy treatment. I am blessed to be able to complete most of my work from home, and I can do lots of work at night or on the weekends. I knew that I was going to lose my hair so telling my students before that was necessary! Currently, I have a group of 9th and 10th grade students who all live in the bay area. I am very close to each student and their parents so I knew that it wouldn't be super easy.

The first line, "I was diagnosed with cancer" is still hard to get out so my first thought was to send an email and then offer a question and answer session, but it just didn't feel write for families and students I was so close to to open an email to this news. I had a social meeting at Sky High planned for this final week before break. While the students were jumping, I gathered the parents. I told them the story, and they were more than supportive. Like everyone, they wanted to know what they could do to support me.......meals, grading, rides, etc. They were astonished as everyone is when they hear the news.

Next it was on to the students........half of the students have been with me for the last two years. We are close. We meet weekly, SKYPE and talk online. We have a very unique relationships with our students at Visions. We are involved in their lives and know them so it was like telling my kids :-) I explained the situation and my plan for getting better. They were astonished. I handed each one a Team Dani bracelet and told my teenage boys, "I know it's pink you don't have to wear it :-)". They immediately put them on and slowly one by one gave me a hug (yes a sweaty post jumping hug).

I got incredible emails of support and phone calls too! Today I signed on to our EDGE social network (very similar to facebook, but private to our group) and this is what I found.

When I first met you,
there was a happy presence,
you had a sunny essence.

You lit up the room,
Brought cheer and smiles,
kicked out the gloom,
made us feel like we had gone miles.

I was so happy when I found out I was to be in your team,
I knew you were nice
I saw a glimmer a gleam.

If I had to choose a way to describe you,
A drop of sun would come to mind,
I’ve only known you for a handful of moments,
But I do know you are the best at being kind.

I really think this ordeal is undeserved and uncanny,
So here I will stand,
rooting for team Dani

--Mateo (9th grade boy)

Team Dani!!! We love you Danielle! Danielle stands for: Delightful, Ambitious, Noble, Insightful, Excellent, Loving, Laughing, Extra-special-teacher! <3

--Sophia (9th grade girl)

I know I say it a lot, but lucky, loved and soooooooo supported!!!!

Surprise!!!!

It was a long weekend for Brian and I with Veterans Day off on Friday. I was feeling good so I kept bugging him about "doing something fun" this weekend. I mean 3 days with no plans, we had to put something on the books. I mentioned the Lawrence Hall of Science in Berkeley, a hike, the Railroad Museum....... and I just couldn't get him to commit. Annoyed, I decided to take it into my own hands and get a babysitter for Saturday night. He quickly told me he had plans for the night, and I better have my dancing shoes on :-)

I woke up very tired on Saturday......might have been my 1 year old breaking his eye teeth and crying for an hour in the middle of the night and then deciding 5 am was a great time for a party! Brian took the boys and I slept the WHOLE day. My Dad and Sandy came over around 3 and I got ready for the night (of course avoiding my hair). Brian got home at 3:30 and was stalling on our departure.........I was of course frustrated. I was ready, he was ready, the bike was ready, what are we waiting for? He said he had reservations. Hmmmm! Not his style, but ok. I finally told him, let's go and he said we needed to stop for a drink on the way there. We would be too early for our reservations and it was a little chilly to just ride for longer.

We stopped for a drink, little fishy, but I still didn't think much of it. My only thought was that Krissie had invited me for a girls dinner, but the time was throwing me off. When we typically go out, it isn't until 7 or 7:30 so we can help get kids down and I couldn't imagine Brian just dropping me off there. We rode the motorcycle downtown and headed towards River Road. The motorcycle was his saving grace because there wasn't time for my incessant questioning about the night. He did lean back and say we were headed to sushi on the river, but suddenly we pulled into Chevy's on the River and when I opened the door I was greeted with.........

THIS!!!

My friends had pulled off a major surprise! There were 25+ women in my life gathered to celebrate this journey I am on and show their support. They were decked out in crazy hats and pink feather boas. There were friends from high school I hadn't seen in years, friends from mom's groups, friends from growing up. They offered encouragement and reiterated their support! We drank margaritas and had appetizers. We created a scene (which we like to do!).

I felt loved.

I felt supported.

I felt lucky.

I know that this is only a small portion of the people that are behind me and I thank all of you. This is how I am getting through it. Friends, family and their words of encouragement, cards, amazing meals and calls that keep me focused on getting better.

It will be a long journey, but I am not on it alone.......and this makes it much easier to face.

Hair and Hats

Day 14........it was the day I was dreading. Almost across the board, woman receiving my treatment said that this would be the day to lose your hair. The stories were actually kinda gruesome......hair falling out in chunks, traumatic. I wasn't looking forward to it.

Day 14 came and it started like clockwork. Not in chunks, not traumatic, but hair everywhere and don't plan on touching it because you were sure to get more than you bargained for. So, I didn't touch it........I had less than a day to get to our family pictures (which were already rescheduled from my hospital stay last Sunday). It was unnerving to say the least.

I had a date planned with Brian and the hair was holding out. I didn't plan on doing anything to it, and the fact that we were riding the motorcycle was great, helmet hair anyway. My Dad and Sandy came to watch the boys and we headed to Sushi on the River when Brian made an unexpected turn into Chevys.

Here I was met with some of the strongest woman in my life all decked out in hats. Lots of details of this amazing show of support and pictures to come tomorrow, but they all made Day 14 a day to celebrate (and I don't even know if they realized it was a day I was dreading). I am so loved.

The hair is holding on.

Pictures are in 1 1/2 hours :-) and I think I'm in the clear. I'm pulling it back into a clip. I don't think it would make it through a straightening iron and now I have a ton of great hats for when it does decide to fall out all together.

Jack is excited Mom and Dad will be sporting the same hairstyle........I don't know if I'm as excited, but it's all part of getting better.

A Perfect Day

I woke up this morning to a blood draw at 6:00am. By 7:50am, I had my discharge orders from the doc. Quickest Kaiser discharge ever!! My white blood cells were now at 12.7 (we're multiplying baby!) and I was 24 hours fever free. Brian took the birthday boy to donuts, dropped them at preschool and came and picked me up.

I had successful SKYPE meetings with two struggling students and two group SKYPE meetings (all while still in my PJ's). I laughed liked crazy as I realized during a meeting of 10th grade boys (I have 8 of them) what life will be like in a house full of boys. They joked with each other, talked sports, new video games while I keep redirecting their conversations to my more

important agenda of spring schedules and motivation for the Exit Exam. It's amazing the teacher-student relationships we get to create with our kids at my work :-)

Surprised the boys at daycare, and the looks on their faces were priceless. Sam couldn't stop smiling and I was finally able to give a big hug to my now 3 year old. We came home and played baseball and football in the yard until Mimi and Papa came over after work for Jack's birthday dinner. Blessed again with an amazing meal of Guy Fieri Mac and Cheese, salad and even a cake for Jack (thanks Bentley family).

We all sat down and watched the movie I made of Jack's first year. It is incredible to see how much he has grown. Jack sat in his recliner eating popcorn while Sam danced around the room entertaining us.

The boys got baths, guitar serenades, and we read books until they fell asleep. Now cuddling up in front of the fire.......

Seriously, A Perfect Day!!!

One More Glorious Night

Of course, I started planning my break out of here the minute I woke up this morning. I got early news my white blood cell count had gone from 1.7 to 3.7 and the doc from the night before said he needed to see them increase. This + no fever I thought could equal nothing but an early release. I skyped in to our monthly Visions meeting and my mom, Brian and Sarah kept me busy as we worked through 2 shifts of nurses before seeing the Monday doc (they're a little late on rounds around here). I was feeling great and then she told me that my 99.1 degree temp at midnight the night before was considered feverish and they really needed me 24 hours without fever....duh duh duh

One more night in the four star resort.

Brian left to get the boys and faced bedtime alone again, he gets the hero award for the week. Especially because he even managed to send me videos of the Jack singing in the bathtub! Sam couldn't even hear my voice on the phone, too confusing and he started crying. Jack on the other hand wanted to talk to my doctor and told me please mom just a minute. When I said he wasn't here he asked me what he was doing? Actually Jack, I'm not sure. Can't wait to get home for my boys.

On a more positive note,

caught up on some grading......

had a great student nurse named Mimi (Jack's name for my mom). Which was a good sign because we struggled through some of the nurses.

And tomorrow, my little guy turns 3! Incredible, and kinda fitting that I will be in the hospital on this day. Remembered a different emotion though of meeting my first 3 years ago. He gets special donuts with Daddy in the morning and he will get spoiled rotten at preschool, and I will be there when he gets home. Can't wait.....now to sleep.

I Spoke Too Soon

Just when I thought I had round one in the bag, something got me.

Saturday morning I woke up not feeling well. My mom and dad took the boys to the Railroad Museum to let me sleep. I slept all day long and when the boys returned I took my temperature..... 101.2!

Normally not a concern, but during chemo 100.5+ requires an ER trip. So off my mom and I went. They gave me general antibiotics, drew blood and soon discovered that I had NO white blood cells. Well, 0.9 to be exact which they were less than thrilled about. I got a shot to boost my white blood cell count and then was told I had to be admitted.

Day 2 in the hospital included lots of blood draws, general antibiotics, Tylenol, more shots and waiting (oh and a little Niners Football!). When the doc came and asked me what I needed, I said "to go home". He told me that I needed another day to get those white blood cells up.

So here I sit, in a hospital bed. Just wanting to go home. Skyped with my boys tonight and miss them terribly. They hope I will be released tomorrow. I'll keep everyone posted!!!

One Solid Night of Sleep, Please!

I have to say I am very lucky, the effects of this first round of chemo have not been hard to handle.

But man am I tired!!!

Brian and I have been cashing in right after the boys for the last week and I fall asleep fine......

then the game begins.....

up for the bathroom

up because my legs are restless

up for a drink

up because I can't fall back asleep!

When the boys were little, I expected it. Sleepless nights, up at all hours, feed, change, repeat, but this is different. I have three boys in my house sleeping soundly and here I am walking the halls.

Jump Houses, Marshmallow Shooters and Ice Cream, Oh My!

Can't let a little chemo get you down! We had scheduled Jack's birthday party for Sunday, October 30th before we knew that I would be receiving my first treatment on Friday. We thought about canceling it, rescheduling it, or skipping it all together, but our little "Buzz Lightyear" was way to excited. The support troops came together and made salads, cupcakes, and decorations. We ordered pizza and the kids (and adults) had a blast making marshmallow PVC shooters. I think that we will be cleaning up mini-marshmallows forever.

The Singley's Infamous Ice Cream Sundae

Marshmallow Craziness

Super Tyler!!!

Of course, I was thoroughly exhausted, but couldn't have imagined it any other way! My baby is three! I can't believe it! Thanks to everyone for making the party happen, I am one lucky girl!

The Chemo Crew

Why wouldn't you show up at Chemo with your very own nurse?

Ok, Sarah was the friend on this one,

but definitely knew the questions to clarify with our nurses.

Pink jackets, pink blankets, pink bracelets and even pink tape to match!

The "Round One" Chemo Crew!

One is Done!!!

Round One of Chemo is Done!

I arrived pretty nervous to my first appointment. All I can equate it to was the feeling of arriving to be induced with Jack. When will it hurt? What will hurt? Will I be able to take it?

I was at ease knowing my babies were with my Mom and taken care of. Actually they couldn't wait for us to leave because they were going to the zoo and park.

I was well supported. Brian and Sarah were by my side and if you know the three of us, this chemo center wasn't going to be the same. We were all decked out in pink and Sarah even made "Team Dani" pink bracelets with my Dad's favorite saying "Fight Hard, You'll Win" (yes, Sarah and I were told this a lot in high school). There are lots of extras for family and friends. Adam came for a visit as well.

It was a total of 3 hours of treatment because my Herceptin was a Super Dose. When the hung the first bag, Sarah looked at the IV machine and said "Ok, now do your job!" I sat through three bags of chemo and it wasn't bad. No discomfort during treatment and was sent home with lots of meds to help with the aftermath. They said tomorrow will be my toughest day and I will be very achey.

I actually feel great. Brian and I went to lunch on the way home and I was able to spend some quality time with the boys before bed. An amazing dinner was waiting, new bedding on my bed, and a great sign from FOWD. I am truly blessed!

Thanks for all the support, well wishes, prayers and messages. I will post the chemo room pictures tomorrow, yes we did take pictures in the room (you've got to document this stuff!).

I'm off to bed, drinking lots of water and getting ready for a par-tay on Sunday.

It's All Pink Ribbons, Inside and Out!

Getting diagnosed with Breast Cancer in October is bittersweet! There are pink ribbons everywhere, people are so aware, and everyone is talking about the rates and survival of breast cancer patients. On the other hand, it's everywhere shirts at Old Navy, pink shirts on all the docs at Kaiser, and even breast cancer ribbon bagels at Panera which doesn't give you much space to not think about it for awhile :-)

Yesterday, I went in for my ultrasound so they could further define the tumors they found on the MRI. They found 4 small tumors with the largest being closest to my armpit and moving in a line towards the center. They performed a needle biopsy to take pre-chemo samples from 2 of the 4. No, I wasn't expecting to be given local anesthesia, and have many small samples taken out, but I rolled with it. After taking samples, they put two small markers in tumor 4 and tumor 2. They are too small to see to the eye, but will provide a marker for my post-chemo scans. In a best case scenario, after chemo the tumors will be undetectable. These small markers will provide a point for the doctor to say, "It was there."

One marker looks like a small coil. The other marker looks like a Breast Cancer Ribbon.

So it looks like I will be sporting my breast cancer ribbon whether I am wearing pink or not!

Thanks For Loving Me Through It!

Warning: Tears Ahead

I'm Gonna Love You Through It - Martina McBride - Martina McBride Videos

and Friday it is!

After a long day of doctor phone calls, I was scheduled for my first chemo treatment on Friday. Think good thoughts, say lots of prayers and send positive energy my way. I am.....

A little nervous-Not sure quite what to expect.

A little scared-I don't do medicine well (actually Brian has trouble getting me to take aspirin when I have a headache) so having it pumped through my body is a little concerning.

A little excited-A start means we're moving!

A little annoyed-We have a birthday party for Jack on Sunday. Luckily, I have an incredible group of family and friends who offered the world to me.... oh and to make cupcakes, clean my house, set up the party, and watch my kiddos :-) Jack has been talking about his costume party for 6 months. Can't hold Buzz down!

Meal Train

Chemo is all set to start either this week or next, I am just awaiting a call from the Chemo Coordinator with the first available appointment. The treatment plan is to first attack the cancer with Chemo and then to reevaluate the need for surgery after that.

My friend, Sarah, started an awesome website called Meal Train. Everyone has been asking how they can help, and she knew that this would be an easy way for people to get involved. She works at UCD Med Center and says that many of her families use this site to coordinate this type of effort. It has available days to sign up for and when you enter your email it will even send you a reminder. For those of you like me that forget until the last second :-)

Link to Meal Train

Happy Dance!

The PET scan was clear, so the cancer has not spread.

They found a small mass in my left breast which links to the removed lymph node and the small pebble size one in my neck. It is all tying together nicely. Again, not your normal response to a Stage 3 Breast Cancer diagnosis, but much better than the alternative.

The surgeon and oncologist agreed that doing surgery now would require a month of recovery and give the aggressive cancer time to grow. They felt the best option was to start chemo immediately.......as in possibly Wednesday.

We are ready to kick some butt, so we said "Let's Go!"

We are waiting for a call to see if they can push me onto Wednesday's schedule! I'll keep you posted!

Don't go to the Airport

PET Scan Nurse: Do you have any plans to go the the airport this weekend?

Me: No

PET Scan Nurse: Good because after you complete this test you would be considered and treated as a bomb if you entered the airport area.

Me: Interesting that they don't tell you this before you come!

Later ........

Me: Why do I have to use the wheelchair lift to enter the PET Scan area? There are stairs right there.

PET Scan Doc: They aren't compliant and our patients usually aren't able to use the stairs. Although we appreciate your energy and youth, it's a double edge sword.

Me: Yes, because you never come in to have a PET Scan if things are good.

Jan and Chemo Class

We fell in love with the chemo coordinator that spoke with us after the oncologist. Her name was Jan and she was spunky and had a take charge attitude. She explained the three drugs that would most likely be my chemo treatment and then said that when we had a more definite diagnosis we would attend chemo class where we would get specific directions. She gave us her direct line and let all of us know that we could call her with any questions.

Fast forward to 6:30pm that night and I got a call from Jan (yes 6:30!) that she had seen my oncologist in the hall and that the MRI had pointed to Breast Cancer. She didn't know a definite answer on what was found, but we were to attend chemo class the next morning and we now had a plan! What a relief, we now weren't searching or treating an unknown!

The next morning we went to chemo class with 18 other newly diagnosed patients. Jan came up and told us she may use us in her future classes as one of the only groups of people that were excited with a diagnosis she gave! For us three, the known was a better scenario than the unknown. Here is what we learned about my chemo:

3 drugs commonly referred to as TCH: Taxotere, Carboplatin, Herceptin

One 3-4 hour treatment every 3 weeks for 6 total treatments (18 weeks total)

It is an aggressive and very strong treatment due to my age, health history and fact that the goal is to CURE it!

I will lose my hair :-( The way she put it is that Taxotere won't make your hair brittle it will open up the follicles and all the hair on my body will actually fall out. This should be interesting. Brian and I should be sporting matching do's by christmastime.

She said that the drugs have improved greatly and that everyone reacts differently so the other side effects can range in intensity. The date of starting chemo treatment was now dependent on 2 things:

1. Clear PET Scan showing that the cancer had not spread to any other organs in my body.

2. Surgeon's decision on whether or not to operate.

Results should be in by Monday, October 24 on the next step.

Unknown Primary Cancer

The following Wednesday we had an appointment with the oncologist to discuss the biopsy results. At this point, we didn't know what to expect. All we knew for sure was that the mass and lymph node were cancerous. My mom, Brian and I went to the appointment together. We immediately made a connection with the doctor as he had treated my mom's friend about a year ago. He was friendly, had young kids, and joked with Brian (which we all know wins him over). They tested for 3 receptors and the receptor for Breast Cancer was 100% positive. This coupled with where they found the lymph node all pointed to Breast Cancer.

The issue was that my mammogram was clear. If they can not find the original tumor and it has already spread to the lymph nodes it is considered an "Unknown Primary Source" cancer. He felt with the positive Breast Cancer results in the biopsy that we just weren't seeing the tumor on the mammogram. He scheduled a Breast MRI to try to locate the tumor and a PET Scan to assure the cancer had not spread into any other organs. He gave us the following scenarios:

1. We would find something on the Breast MRI which would help us define this as Breast Cancer. At this point, my surgeon would decide if he could remove the mass or not. The treatment plan could include any combination of surgery, radiation and chemo in this case

2. We would not find anything on the Breast MRI which could mean that my immune system fought off the original tumor or that we might need to look further. We would then treat with Chemotherapy as an Unknown Primary Source cancer.

3. The two previous scenarios would all be dependent on a clear PET Scan. My cancer would be considered Stage 3 unless the PET Scan showed that it had traveled to any other organs. (Let's just leave it at that, we needed a clear PET Scan).

He sent me right over to Radiology where they took me in for a Breast MRI. We all walked into the internal waiting room......

Nurse: Undress, put on this gown and leave your shoes on

Me: I have my cowboy boots on

Nurse: Go ahead and just leave your socks on

Me: Ok (laughing..........)

We are a little sock challenged at our house,

but I'm thinking it may become a tradition here!

A Wait!!!

And so the wait began.........5-10 days for the tissues to be examined, tested and processed. Our appointment with Oncology was set for the following Wednesday one week after surgery.

Of course, in typical Danielle fashion we did not just sit around and wait for the results......

A Routine Surgery

Surgery was scheduled for the following Tuesday and my pre-surgery appointment was very routine. The Doc said it would be a routine lump removal. He didn't have any major concerns I had given birth to two boys, never had surgery, was young and had clear bloodwork.

I was not worried, but more annoyed. They wanted me to arrive at 9:30 for a 1:00 pm surgery and I didn't want Brian to have to take a full day off work. I planned for a friend to drop me off and Brian was going to arrive prior to surgery. I checked myself in and joked through pre-op with my nurses. We talked about her kids and she asked me teacher advice :-) The anesthesiologist prepped me and even rested her feet on my bed until the surgeon was ready.

Brian was in the waiting room when the doctor opened the door and asked, "Is there a Brian Singley here?" He then waived Brian into the hallway, where he told him that what he found was cancerous. He removed the mass, the lymph node, and the tissues surrounding it. Brian, still in his work clothes, was shocked and asked the Doc if he was f'ing kidding him and didn't hear much of anything after the word cancer.

Brian went into emergency mode and started making calls. He called my mom, at work (no answer), on her cell (no answer), again (no answer). He called the front office and was transferred to her friend at work who told Brian she was getting her nails done. Her friend drove to the nail salon picked up my mom and rushed her over. In the meantime, Brian called a friend to get my boys and my brother for support and I am sure then tried to summons up the courage to tell me! This is where we are lucky to have a support system that came into full force at a moment's notice.

Next thing I know I was waking up from surgery, the nurse laughed that I was up too early and no one was ever alert this quick. I should have gotten the first clue when the nurse was going over my follow up appointments which included a Wednesday appointment with oncology. I was groggy and didn't think twice until my mom walked in. I looked at her, half awake and said, "Wait, you aren't supposed to be here. You should be getting to boys. What's going on?". I focused on the nurse because I couldn't look at my Mom yet. Brian came into the room and started rubbing my shoulders. Adam met us in the hall and I knew it wasn't good. This routine surgery did not have routine findings at all.

No Walk in Mammo for Me

It's Breast Cancer Awareness month and the signs were posted everyone, "Walk in Mammograms" so you think this would be easy.

Me-I'm here for a mammogram
Him-How old are you?
Me-32
Him-I'm sorry you're not old enough for a walk in mammogram

Lovely! So after calling my general doctor obtaining an under 35 year old order, I was able to participate in the exciting process of my first mammogram.

A Pain in the Arm

I noticed a dull pain in my arm pit in early September 2011 while training to run a half marathon with friends. Luckily, I was super aware of my aches and pains at this time and knew that this wasn't of the running variety. I made an appointment to see my general doctor and he found a small lump in my armpit (about 2 cm). My bloodwork was clear so he scheduled me a 4 week follow up appointment to reevalaute.

I finished up my training and completed a half marathon in October and had my follow up appointment the following week. I went into the appointment thinking that the doctor would say it has broken up on its' own and that we were clear. He was immediately concerned when he felt it because the lump had almost doubled and I had a small lump in my neck. I couldn't feel the lump so had no way of checking its' progress. He called the surgeon from the office and sent me directly for a mammogram.