Radical and Modified

I knew the battle was not over. After seeing the scans, I knew there were two options for surgery:

Lumpectomy: Remove the one remaining tumor

Mastectomy: Remove the entire breast

Of course upon hearing the news that the tumors were down to one, I was thinking a lumpectomy was a possibility now. It's nice to have an RN as a best friend because of course we ran through all the scenarios. Although a lumpectomy was now a possibility, she wanted me to be sure to get the surgeon's opinion on a mastectomy in my situation. What stuck with me is that she said in all of her studies she always told herself that if it happened to her she would want all possibility of it returning gone. So, I went into my surgeon's meeting knowing that mastectomy was on the table.

The surgeon came and confidently announced that upon reviewing my charts and history that a mastectomy was his recommendation. His reasoning:

1. My cancer was stage three and in three lymph node areas. It was aggressive and the treatment should be that as well.

2. He would entertain the idea of a lumpectomy if I insisted, but this would not be his recommendation. It would require me to do multiple follow ups because the chance of reoccurrence would be high.

3. He said that in some cases mastectomy and lumpectomy had equal levels of reoccurrence. In my case, not SO!

Deep Breath, but how can you argue with confidence that the battle you've been fighting will soon be over and be far less likely to return. It wasn't a question. I was in!

Then we moved on the particulars. It would be a modified radical mastectomy. The surgeon described the surgery as an oldie but a goodie. They will remove my breast and the lymph nodes under my arm.

My mom: What support will she need during recovery?

Surgeon: This will be easy compared to what she has been through with chemo.

Brian, My Mom and I: (Laughing)

Surgeon: So you are saying she rocked chemo.

Brian: Yes

The surgery won't touch muscle so I am told that as far as surgeries go it will be an easy recovery. It is 2-3 hours and I will spend one night in the hospital. I will need to be moving my arm before I leave. I won't be able to lift the boys for awhile, but we can cuddle :-) and he said I wouldn't be able to clean (lucky I'm married to Brian).

I will need to follow up surgery with radiation so I won't qualify for immediate reconstruction. It will be about a year before I can start that process.

It has been a whirlwind.

Am I sad? Not really

Am I nervous? A little

Am I ready to be one step closer to an end? For sure